The Alba Factor

Boy roommate has a serious obsession with Ms. Jessica Alba (so he says because she resembles his hot Thai girlfriend). Whatever. Alba is hot, I'll give him that. But is it necessary to put a photo of her on our fridge? Being greeted by an incredibly gorgeous female celeb while grabbing for my Haagen Daz in the freezer is just ruining it for me, the ice cream i mean. Though I'd love to know when the last time Alba scarfed down a whole pint of yummy chocolate goodness.Yes, just plain old chocolate. I'm a purist like that. Bitch probably couldn't even stomach a chocolatey Viactiv chew. I pity her, really i do.

Wow.

The D-Spot has only been up for about a month, and I've already had more than 1,000 hits. Is that good in blogdom? Who cares. I'm just glad you people are still reading my nonsense!

It's better than Jenny Craig!

Living poor in New York, that is. Seriously, any of you who know me well, also know that i'm not one to rush to the scale after a workout....or even workout at all really. I'm not really one of those weight-conscious girls (save for my brief stint on the South Beach, but we know that didn't last long cause I couldn't consume carbolicous beer). But I would love to stand on a scale right now. With all the walking and lack of eating I knew I was getting trimmer, even fitter. BUT now I'm just a little perturbed because my, um, delicates aren't fitting right. Yes, my brassieres (and I know I misspelled that). there are all sorts of puckering, bunching, and weird creases going on cause they're just too big! I've never had this problem..if you want to call it a problem. I'm calling it my Lohan phase...minus the crack.

I JUST WANT TO STOP SWEATING ALREADY!!!

yep, that's all.

Freaks and Geeks

Man, Chelsea is the place for random celebrity sightings! Today as I was applying a fresh Band-Aid to my blistered heel (yes, those stupid $6 shoes!) I spotted D-list celebrity/freak Jocelyn Wildstein aka "cat woman" (or as I like to call her, "The Ugliest woman on the face of the Earth!") Seriously, the woman has had so much plastic surgery she looks like a cat. That's not good. Still don't really know who I'm talking about? Go to www.awfulplasticsurgery.com and search her name. You'll be sorry you looked. I'd post her pic on the blog but frankly, I don't want my readers to suffer or go blind. In other news, went to my first NY art opening today. It was called "Not in Kansas anymore" (fitting). And it wasn't bad at all. I was just pissed that there wasn't any free booze and/or goodies. WTF? They do that shit RIGHT in B'ham. Anyway, I'm doing some freelance (and I mean "free" quite literally) writing for newyorkcool.com so hopefully my review/thoughts/photos from this show will be on the site soon.

Ugh.

The weather is shit. I have a Condé Nasty interview today. And I really just want to stay at home and watch trashy television.
I think the unemployment low self-esteem/depression is starting to kick in.

Complete Waste of Time

An informational interview with Time Inc.'s HR department. It's a sore subject. Don't ask.

My Brain on Shuffle..

I heard that silly Manu Chao song "Me Gustas Tu" at a party this weekend and thought of the crazy bitches....The Nick Rocks, and I miss it. Terribly....The Astoria public (free!) pool opened this weekend and I can't wait to try it out....Brown outs are extremely unfortunate, especially when my shitty little fan is the only thing keeping me from waking up in a pool of my own sweat every morning....I hate couples.....Can anyone suggest a good summer book to read?....It's summer and I'm sad that I won't be able to go tubing on the Cahaba sipping Bud Light....Yesterday was the gay pride parade, and it made me miss going to drag shows at the Phoenix....It's frustrating having an entire city full of incredible things to do and people to meet but not having the resources, finances, contacts, or even friends for that matter who are interested in making it more interesting....

The first step is admitting you have a problem

I bought another pair of shoes today. Granted, they were only $6 and not even that cute but still. That makes it my fifth shoe purchase since I've been in New York. This is not good. My closet isn't big enough for all of these fucking shoes.

Only in New York

Last night there was a drunken/crazy man wandering around my train wearing nothing but red undies. Not even shoes.

Genius

My new favorite movie, hands down (for this week at least), is A Dirty Shame. God bless John Waters and all his twisted, perverse, comical dialogue. Definitely some of the most amusing innuendo EVER. Thanks to Clare for giving me the heads up (ha!) on this flick. The best is the cameo appearance by Patti Hearst. HA!

Celebrity Spotting!

I totally saw, er gawked, at the dude who plays Zach on The O.C. as he was crossing the street (around 24th and 5th) in Chelsea today. I thought of you, Abbi! I also paid $3 to pee. God bless my fave late night mexican food stop (killer carnitas tacos) that allows usage of el banjo with a purchase. My bladder was very happy. And, i went to my first "hipster" party in NY. blech. Details on that to come.

Naaahhh.

I just don't like iced coffee. I keep trying, but it's just not happening. Coffee wasn't made to be consumed cold (or through a straw). Kinda like butter and jam TOGETHER on the same side of an english muffin--i'm just not having it.

Reasons why I feel like harfing this morning...

1)My body simply can't handle the heat while walking to the train
2)The bounty of awful stenches from my street (today was trash day, after all)
and/or the bounty of disgusting smells from the subway....
3)The fruit I bought and ate from a vendor on the street yesterday
4)Rather than smelling like fresh-cut flowers like I'm sure her perfume is supposed to smell, the lady sitting next to me on the train really smells like rancig, rotting cut-grass. Ick.
4) The lack of food in my system is slowly causing the acid/bile in my digestive track to eat away at my stomach. Ick.
5) The slow fat-ass I'm walking behind is smoking a nasty disgusting makes-me-want-to-hurl-on-his-shoes cigarette. I just can't handle ciggie smoke anyomre.
6) Stomach flu
7) hangover

SO after scarfing down a bagel w/cream cheese and consuming an ENORMOUS cup of coffee, I think I'm feeling a little better. Must of been #4.

Yep, We Bonded.

Last night I was hot and sweaty and for some reason this always makes me crave ice cold beer (i should be craving water, but that's just not how i fly). So I stopped by our local market and picked up a sixer of good old Budwieser. Cans. Just cause they taste better that way sometimes. Needless to say, Boy roommate was very excited when I arrived home with said sixer and asked him if he wanted to share. In fact, he was so excited (i think more by the fact that I opted for the old-school can version) that he said--and i quote-- "this is awesome.." Silly boy.

Like eating a Snickers with a fork and knife...

Every place in New York (even Queens) hands out straws when you purchase a can of soda, or a bottle of water, or juice, or any type of beverage really. At least this has been my experience thus far. And it's not even the cool bendy straws. Just the plain old boring straws. And it's not like I see people walking down the street or sitting in the cafes sipping their Diet Cokes through a straw or anything. I just don't get it. Guess I never really was a straw girl, anyway...

One (dollar) Love

Yesterday I ventured into my neighborhood's 99 cent store, and I'm in love. I purchased at least 2 or 3 weeks worth of meals (well, dinners mostly) and spent only $13. Amazing. I'm kinda skeeved out by the $1.09 meats, eggs, and milk, but it can't be THAT bad...right? I mean, even the cheap-ass stores must maintain some type of FDA regulations...right? Whatever. I'm excited that I can now afford something other than tuna fish and ramen (though those two items continue to remain a staple in my pantry).

The City of God

Just wanted to give my girls who are off to the beautiful land of Brazil on Friday a shout out. Be safe, have fun, drink lots, and give junt a hug for me.

Gimme a Break Already!

So I've applied for so many fucking jobs it's ridiculous. The worst part is I haven't heard jack from anyone. I've even applied for a job as a product description writer for a company that makes sex toys and today I applied for a gig as a copy editor for Penthouse (which wouldn't be that bad, really). The point is I haven't heard ANYTHING period. Save for my info interviews with the big uglies HR depts. next week (Time and Conde Nast), I have nothing. It must be my poor cover letter writing skills. I hate those things. So needless to say, I'm getting a little frustrated with my lack of interviews in the big bad NY job search. On a lighter note, I saw a squirrel today...in Manhattan. I almost cried. And did I already mention that New Yorkers are fucking weird people? Cause they are. And they can't dress. Or they try too hard and end up looking awful. There is something to be said for TOO MUCH bling.

Bohemian Beer Garden

The best thing about living in Astoria is that I'm just a few blocks from the only surviving old school German beer gardens in New York (apparently). The Bohemian Hall is divey and spectacular. There's a HUGE garden outside with tons of outdoor seating, darts, and a stage....and of course the beer and kielbasa. I love it there.

Scratching that Itch

So i've been in New York for about 3 weeks now and still haven't seen a show. It's killing me. I have yet to go to one of the concert in the park shows because they're not cheap, and I'm afraid if I venture down to the Village to watch some lousy local band, I'll fall desperately in love with everyone I see. Boo. Plus, I missed City Stages. Someone please tell me that The Killers didn't kill, Aretha didn't show, and Ryan Adams looked like ass and was speaking gibberish. Still bet Mr. Hollingsworth put on a kickass show....*sigh*....

SEXXX

Today I ventured to the New York Museum of Sex. It was pretty great, but since it's a new museum it has lots of room to uhm, grow. Aside from watching very amusing silent porns (circa 1910) wherein the intertitles include ridiculous dialogue like "I am entering now" and "Your manhood throbbeth" the most fascinating exhibit was most definitly the patented machinery/devices used to stop masterbation. Good god. Apparently there's even an anti-rape device (some crazy ass thing they came up with in the 80s). I can't imagine how they'd market that thing. "Hey girls, tired of being paranoid of rape? Just keep this massive plastic thing up inside of you and when a guy tries to penetrate, his member will be stabbed by an internal pin/needle!" Anyway the metal corset was interesting....and then there's those "beefcake" still photographs...

On the way home, some adorable old Indian guy told me I was cute (probably cause I was flush from watching Victorian porn) and I learned that I have a severe pizza problem. $1 slices will surely be the death of me.

Fuzzy beautiful

I just rediscovered my love for Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith. I blame this mostly on the fact that I just watched The Aviator and I imagine the soundtrack is amazing. Though I don't even know if they're on it, but watching it made me want to hear these brazen broads again, which I havent' since college. I mean "Need A Little Sugar in My Bowl...I Need a Little Hot Dog Between My Rolls" ?? Damn girls. Watch yourselves. And that's nothing compared to "Kitchen Man." I've also rekindled my absolute love for the get-me-so-hot-till-i-drop voice of Otis Redding. Good GOD that man does it for me. Three words: My Lover's Prayer. Mmmm...

Home At Last

I just discovered that there is a bar in Manhattan that offers "Southern Appreciation" night..show'em your Bama ID for instance and get in for cheap, plus they have fried pickles and all that greasy goodness I've been missing. AND apparently there's a bar that has beer pong tables and is know for its outrageous beer pong tourneys! Fantastic.

I want my trash TV!

Oh how i long for the lazy evenings, sprawled out on the couch watching Fox's fabulous sunday night line up...a little The Simpsons, some Arrested Development, maybe even slip in a Netflix film....Now I'm competing with The Mets, The Pistons, and basically any program in which men and balls are involved. Ha!

It's a very, very, very small world

Went to a garden party last night (that's NY slang for "someone's fortunate enough to have a patio/backyard so let's go chill in it"). And randomly ran into some boys who once attended Birmingham-Southern and just happened to be aquainted with that same crazy BSC crew I knew all too well back in the Ham. So bizarre. Now I'm off to the Yankees game. $9 beers and $6 ballpark franks....man, I miss Barons Thirsty Thursday already!

In the Money

Most young, egotistical guys brag about how they came into some hard core cash from either working hard, gambling, or selling drugs. In Astoria, guys brag about how they came into money by being hit by cars. This is a conversation I witnessed between two young hoods last night on my walk home.

Dude 1: Man, I'm waiting on about 18K from a suit from gettng hit by a car. Can't wait till that shit comes in.

Dude 2: Seriously, man. That's how I got my 35K, gettin' run over by some freak. And when I turn 18, that shit's rolling over to 72K. Sweet.

Good Day Turned Bad

My misfortune with earring purchases continues. While in Santa Fe, I bought these fabulous black jade earrings on the plaza from one of the locals(therefore making it completely irreplacable because his signage is a little dot...great)for $20 when they were really more like $40 (we got the earlybird special). Today as I leaned over and flushed the toilet here in corpo-hell, I noticed something black fall into it...I was like what is that? And before I realized that it was my precious beautiful black jade earring that i get tons of compliments on, it was sucked away. And yes, I shoved my hand in the toilet as far as it would go whilst it was flushed away. I'm gonna cry. Now if BOTH earrings had coincidentally fallen off my ears and been swept away, I'd be able to deal, but no. I'm sitting here staring at the lone leftover one. I think it's mocking me. I blame my ears for all of this nonsense. I SWEAR the only earrings i've lost were on my left earlobe and I think it's because the hole in it is larger and they fall out easier. I seriously don't have a matching pair of earrings at all anymore. And somehow the incidents always involve water. My fave pair that i scored online (cute little lightning bolts)...one mysteriously disappeared after a rainy, drunken night barhopping in the Ham (I still think it's somewhere at Metro Bistro). Then, the other pair that a friend made for me was ruined when I lost one during the torrential rain/Hurricane Ivan day-off-work = all day bender incident which i blame on the fact that I stumbled, well, fell home and they fell off. BUT this time, I'm really pissed.I wasn't even drinking. Must be my karma.

Well...

They've asked me back here for another week. I can't say no. I need $$.

Dumbfounded

It truly amazes me how clueless big time editors are when it comes to computer stuff. I was asked to "compress" and email a large document and email it to The Lady. I asked, "You mean scan these pages and create a PDF?" and The Lady just shook her head and was like, "I don't know. Is that how you do it? Just make sure it gets done by 3 p.m." So after I attached the PDFs into a single email and sent it to her, she calls me in to request that I re-email them to her in 2 seperate emails "because it'll be easier for me to....bleh, bleh, bleh". I didn't bother telling her she could just drag the one PDF to her desktop and make a new email document for it and attach it back in. Whatever. I hate overpaid stupid people. Don't companies offer classes for editors who don't know jack about technology anymore? It would save so much time and money.

Must be the cooler weather

I'm finally feeling better today and for the first time since I arrived in NY, I slept soundly..ahhh. Plus, people are being so nice today. Gotta be the perfect 70 degree weather.

Oops! I Won't Do It Again!

Okay, it's been brought to my attention that some things I've posted on this blog might have been a little too raunchy. Therefore, I promise to keep it fun and sexy but not too graphic (which as you all know, I'm one blunt bitch). But, I can't give up my cursing...deal with it. Thanks for all the comments!

Realization

I just realized that i'm going to trash-talk these temp jobs I better try to keep them a little more anonymous. I've alwayas had a problem with a lack of discretion! So I've edited all previous posts to the most generic way possible--Except for that "skirt" incident cause that's still fucking hilarious! You know, protect the innocent and all that shit. So, if you want to know the exact locale/mag/corpo-hell I'm working for in the future, drop me a line and maybe, just maybe i'll dish.

Annoying!

So I'm still trying to figure out the phone system here and it seems to be more complicated than fucking brain surgery...to me. I've been taking messages all day for The Lady (it's already 5 p.m. and she's only had about six all day) but still haven't got the hang of transferring people to her VM yet so i've just been leaving them on sticky "Important Message" notes on her chair for her. She just arrived to find the notes and I walk by to explain them and add that i transferred a few to her voicemail as well (i finally got it!). As i leave the office, she says "That's the way I like it.." WHY DIDN"T YOU JUST SAY SO?! I don't understand how you can have an efficient assistant without giving instruction on specifics of what you want/need done. I've been sitting here on my ass all day long with very little to do and the one thing I am doing, apparently I've been doing it wrong. Whatever. I guess it's my fault for being a dumbass who can't work the phones...

UUUGGGHH!

Oh my god, I feel terrible right now (and it's only 3 p.m.). I think the tuna salad from lunch and all those Stellas from last night have finally caught up with me. Plus, the heat hasn't done much for my sleeping patterns either. I'm tired and I think my throat's a little sore. I swear if I have Strep again, I'm going to die--possibly literally as I currently don't have health insurance. Ugh.

This Way, Ms.

I hate the doorman/front desk guy/security guard, whatever in this building. When a person enters (the sign says "visitors" and points to the front desk and at this point I'm really no longer visiting) she's supposed to do the whole velvet rope path, waiting like cattle-to-slaughter winding line thing to tell him who she's here to see, bleh bleh. Today at lunch, since I'm not a new face, I decided to go around the rope partition (literally like 3 feet) so i didn't have to look the fool winding through the damn thing like an ape while he's staring at me knowing exactly where i'm going. Plus, there was no one else there, and he wasn't busy and obviously saw me so what the hell, right? WELL, he goes "Excuse me, Ms. Walk this way" and points to the roped off area. I again stated who I was/where I was going thinking he just forgot but he nods and says "Yes, but when you enter, you must go though the roped off area, only exitors go that way you are going" WTF? Like 3 feet makes the difference (i could understand had it been crowded and people were coming from both directions but NO ONE WAS THERE)!!! Stupid doorman, let's see YOU walk through that roped off area 6 times a day like a lemming and see how annoying it is yourself! It must be a NY thing. Anyway, I smirked, then grimaced, and now I'm back in corpo-hell.

Comment, People...COMMENT!

Come on, throw me a bone. I'm so fucking bored here in corpo-hell. Give me some feedback on the new blog. Or just feedback. Or what you had for lunch, cause i promise it was better than my shitty homemade tuna sandwich that was in my purse all morning...ugh.

Walking to the Train while hungover

The heat alone is enough to make me hurl right on the pavement....it'll be interesting to see how this day progresses. At least I've got my Pepto.

New Photo

That's my train stop, bitches. The N train rules.

Grouchy about Gauchos

Thanks to Allison for helping me come to the sad realization that I absolutely CANNOT wear those cute, trendy gaucho shorts/pants, er..skorts, no matter how comfortable and cool (by cool I mean temperature cool) they look. And props to my genes responsible for my trunk-junk, kankles, and short stubby legs that make wearing them impossible. Who needs them anyway..it's just another retro fashion return and Diane Keaton's the only one who could really pull them off--in 1973!

Bar endorsement of the Week

Sunday I went to McSorley's brewery/pub. It's incredible, and ancient. The floors are covered in sawdust, they sell cheap burgers and liverwurst sandwiches and the beer, which is served in pairs, only comes in "light" or "dark". Plus it's only $4! Apparently women weren't even allowed in the pub until the 70s...1970s, that is.

Intimidation Factor

My temp job is to be the VP's assistant. Eek.

Temp Whore

I'll be answering telephones and doing god only knows what in a big corporate magazine office.

Shitty NY job #2

Today I spent my entire morning creating...well, more like "putting together" as in stuffing paper into folders/envelopes for a company that sells teeth whitening cream at Sephora stores (SNORE). After arriving at the office, I was waiting for my supervisor to arrive...she emerged, a cute young 20something...and as she turned the corner to greet me, her skirt literally DROPPED to her ankles!!! Thus exposing her unflattering nude colored granny undies (sooo period-time underwear). Anyway, it was fucking hilarious but the best part is that her reaction was so very female. She was just "Oh my God!" and then pulled up her skirt and continued like nothing happened at all. I love how women do this (we also do it when we trip on a heel and stumble and/or fall). Anyway, the kits only took about 3 hours to complete and so it really wasn't even worth the trip into the city--but the girl's skirt dropping definitely was. Also, on the way home, I saw a fantastic panhandler sign that read "Why lie? I really need a beer!" HAHAHAHAHA!

On another note: tomorrow (and the rest of the week) the temp agency might have something for me at one of the mags!

Just Like the Good Old Days

Allison and Tiffany came into town last night for a night of boozing--just like the old college days. As we're walking down my street to the train discussing boys and nipple piercings, I think God, how I missed these girls! Rauncy, catty, saucy, sexy. After skipping the Korova Milk Bar due to the $10 cover, we go to Raven to sip on $2 PBRs then head over to SCORES..yes, Scores THE strip club of all strip clubs. Tiff had a connection, we got in free of charge and received a complimentary round of Redheaded Sluts. Fantastic. These girls are fucking amazing, by the way. Gorgeous. Tiff got a lapdance and we drank ourselves silly. It was a perfect night out on the town. Thank you girls! (Tiff and Allison, not the strippers).

Boo..I miss Birmingham!

As retarded as this is going to sound, I'm doing it anyway: Sixer of Budweiser, $6; Conversations about Angelina Jolie's apparent comic beauty with boy roommate, $0; Drunken phone calls from EVERYONE you miss in Alabama, priceless. I know, I know. I just had to do it. Holla to my Bham peeps--half currently getting wasted on fishbowl maragritas at Guadalajara and the other half slossed on the Power Hour preparing to get sweaty at Salsa Night with DJ Carlos at The Loft. Wish I could be there.

First Reponse!

Got my first response/potential interview today with a bonafide (sort of) journalistic outlet. The publisher of the SexHerald.com (yes, that's right, i'd be writing and reviewing smut..not really!) emailed me to say "Let's chat" about an associate editor position! It would be fun. I'd probably edit saucy book reviews, articles, and toys. Awesome. In the meantime, Monday i'll be stuffing envelopes and putting together media kits for a company in Manhattan that sells teeth whitening cream. Fun.

I hate living in New York moment number 1

Walking to the train in the pouring rain (sounds like a fucking whiny song lyric). My bandaids weren't waterproof causing the gaping bloody wound on my food (damn those $16 WalMart heels!)to burn from the wet grossness from NY pavement and pollution... I hate my commute. I'm going to start calling Astoria "the country." Whoever said living in a big fucking city was easy was so terribly mistaken. Today I missed my car.

15 min later on the train: why the hell do these people look so damn good right now? did they get a RIDE to the subway stop? There is not any matted hair, smeared makeup or anything? Why am i the only one with a sweaty, wet dripping face, pit stains and dirty feet? Cutting bangs for the summer was a really really bad idea, by the way. Eww. I'm offically growing them back out.

Males

Having a boy roommate also means learning about and watching more sports than i ever wanted to, specifically the Detroit Tigers and the Pistons. Like RIGHT NOW when there's that shitty new Tommy Hilfiger reality show to be watching! Just kidding...not really. You know how I am with those fucking shows.

God Bless Fox

Three words: "Hell's Kitchen" and Dewberry

Shoe Carnival: Day 2

The mystery of the mismatched shoes continues. Yesterday, I heard someone doing blow in the bathroom, today it was vomiting. Probably some 80lb. shoe model/bulemic. Fun.

Note to self:

Always follow your instincts while attempting to navigate MTA subway system and try to limit yourself to one "oh my god i'm going to end up in fucking harlem!" panic attack to once a week. Also limit asking random person standing next to you "This train goes to Astoria Blvd, right?" to at least once a week, or at least once a week while stone sober.

Disclaimer

Since most of these posts occur right after I've walked like 10 blocks from the train or when i'm drunk, please don't "tsk, tsk" at my poor editing and/or spelling. I'm a journalist, writer, bleh bleh. I know. It's wrong. I don't care. As my dear friend Bif Reh would say "Get over it!"

Temping

Friday I go in to take all my fun little temp tests so hopefully i'll be filing, answering phones, and getting paid soon!

Shoe Carnival

So my first pseudo job in NY has been sitting at a booth at the NY SHOE EXPO! WTF?! Long story short, my friend Amanda works for a mag called Footwear Plus and they needed someone to man the booth, hand out free issues, etc. for 2 days. I get $200 so what the hell. BUT OH MY GOD SO FUCKING BORING! Plus, the entire experience has completely reaffirmed that fact that I am not a fashionista nor am i a shoe person. If any of you out there know me well, you know that I am a cheap ass and refuse to spend $$ on nice shoes because i just spill shit on them, ruin them in the rain, or wear them out. So my entire shoe closet consists of Payless, Target, and TJMAXX specials. Little did i know that these people are not only shoe distributors/designers but they are really creepy Shoepeople! There is no looking at one's face first, oh no, it's right to the shoes (mine were a cute cheap pair of Wal-Mart heels i bought for 16 bucks). And i swear to GOD...dozens of skeevy looking middle aged men named Gianni stared down at my callused, blistered, and eventually bleeding feet, er shoes in complete and utter disgust. At first I was mortified, and then i realized that most of them were wearing white, leather loafers or shoes of two different colors (cause apparently that's in now?). Ick. Whatever. Tomorrow I'm wearing $6 flipflops from Targgggggggget. Take that bitches. Oh, and i totally heard a woman doing key bumps in the stall next to me in the bathroom. Awesome.

Sticky

It's 9 a.m. and i just woke up in a pool of my own sweat....again. DAMN New York is FUCKING HOT!

Trolling

So...K and I went out today (his last day in NY) to scour the hood for some good grub. We stopped at this Thai place called Ubol's (pronounced yew-bahns) (?) and scarfed down some amazing thing they call "Pig in the Garden" instantly reminding me of the old Jim N Nick's fave. Then we walked forever, came upon the local multiplex, watched Will Farrell's newest flick then stumbled upon Astoria's hotspot for greasy, skinny hipsters--The American Museum of the Moving Image. $10 admission, tons of artsy flicks, and loads of potential future boyfriends. yummy. I've decided i'm going to try scoring a job at the museum's snack bar/deli and later try to score with the hiporoti.

Domesticity

Living with a boy i'm not also sleeping with is bizarre. Living with someone for the first time in 4 years is even more bizarre. I forgot how creepy it is stepping into the shower and being greeted by a clump of another person's hair in the drain...

Shell Shock

Lessons learned as a New Yorker: Day 1


Catcalls in Queens aren't much different from those in Birmingham.

After unpacking my shoes and walking 20 blocks in strappy sandals, i realized that i must invest in some decent walking shoes. God bless my new pumas.

Cabbies are dumbasses who don't know any place outside of Manhattan. I learned this the hard way on my way to my new apt from the airport.

New York women are gorgeous without even trying to look good, and according to my fellow midwestern transplants they are very aggressive when it comes to hitting on the opposite sex....bitches.

Always carry an umbrella.

30 minutes to Midtown IS a long commute.

Always ask if the $8 burger comes with fries......