My most recent YouTube obsession

This comedy group from Texas called Team Tiger Awesome (teamtigerawesome.com) has come up with a few brilliant videos entitled 28 Day Slater. The premise? Every February for 28 days, Mario Lopez reverts back to his early career, believing he is indeed AC Slater from the beloved Saved By The Bell. His nemesis? The then-president of NBC Brandon (Brian?) Tartikoff who has implanted a chip in Mario's brain to make him revert back to Slaterdom. It is fucking hilarious and I'm putting up the first Episode here. I highly recommend a visit to youtube.com to check out the other 3 episodes. Also, Team Tiger Awesome does these very funny edits of bad movies (Dirty Dancing, for example) old timey-style w/player piano music and dialogue. In short, it is belly-busting hilarious.

Here is Episode 1 of 28 Day Slater:




FOUND IT! Dirty Dancing: The Corner'ingation of Baby

And Just Like That...

I became a huge fan of the Washington Post (if you didn't watch Britney on DATELINE, you no longer have to try to find the clips. Read the link for a hilarious recap:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/22/AR2006062201870.html

What Doesn't Kill You...yada yada yada...

So as most everyone knows that I am not content with my current job situation (to say the very possible least). So I've been applying and interviewing for various magazine/online editing positions on the fly. Today, my 3 weeks worth of schmoozing, interviewing, writing thank you notes, and going in for second interviews (!) all came crashing down when I received THREE (count 'em 3)rejection emails TODAY. In one day. Fabulous. What really chaps my proverbial hide is the fact that one of the positions was a very coushy gig as an associate producer for the Love and Sex portion of a fairly reputable online source (ahem, ivillage). And the interview went great, despite the fact that I've never worked for a web site before. However, the "boss"/interviewer admitted to me that she was from the South and fairly sexually conservative and that she experiences a lot of "eww-factor" w/her job rating vibrators and discussing transvestites all day long. Oh poor pitiful her! This was revealed to me AFTER i devulged my love for all things sexual (toy collection and all). I thought a broad running a Love & Sex site would have at least a little spunk. Hardly. She was wearing a pearl necklace, and not the kind you would think of a woman who reviews porn and tests dildos all day long. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I'd be perfect for that fucking job.

Hey! You! Help me decide on a Tattoo!

I'm heading up to Syracuse in September for the NY State Fair w/Joe and a few members of his permanent "crew" (read: Chewy, Matt, and Barry). Apparently there is going to be a trip to one of the local tattoo parlors wherein everyone is getting a tattoo by Joey's dear friend Jesse, an aspiring artiste. I'm seriously considering this upcoming adventure as the place for my first (and likely only) inking. I mean, Joe got one in Bama so it's only fitting that I get one in Syracuse, right? Anyway, I need ideas, people! Serious ones too. As for location of said tat, i'm considering either the back of my shoulder or my wrist. If I go for the wrist, it will probably be script (someting like...Red? Amore? Suck it Bitches? Ha!). That being said, I also enjoy the old Sailor Jerry-type designs (pinup broads, daggars, hearts, etc) but I want to keep it dainty and small. So, any and all suggestions are welcomed. And if you even suggest Chinese characters, you are no longer my friend and I will promptly punch you in the face the next time I see you. :)

If you didn't know it already...

I totally, completely, utterly love Anthony Bourdain. No Reservations is a killer television show and this interview w/Salon.com just solidified my opinion more. It's entertaining, I promise:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/06/26/bourdain_QA/index.html

Asphalt Adventures

Here's a little weekend recap:

Friday night Allison came up from Philly. So good to finally see her and i can't fucking wait until she moves to Jersey this summer so we can be bffs again and do girly things and talk about boys and have sleepovers and pillow fights. Err, something like that.

Weekend plans to attend the infamous Mermaid Parade, gorging on Nathan's hotdogs, and getting high in the Wonder Wheel in Coney Island were ruined (sadly) on Saturday due to shitty weather so Joe and I opted for an adventure up to Spanish Harlem to view the Graffiti Hall of Fame, or a bunch of really wellknown taggers paint the side of Jackie Robinson Elementary School. Unfortunately because of the rain they weren't actually out tagging but some of the murals were stellar. Spanish Harlem might just be my new favorite neighborhood in the city, mostly because the air..not just a street or a certain spot...the entire fucking air for BLOCKS smells like delicious latin food. We walked around the hood taking in the olfactory bliss and decided to stop at a small diner to sample some of the various fried pork items in the front window. The menu on the wall was not in english and didn't have prices. The only thing i even remotely recognized was "chicarrones, empanadas and plantains". Thanks to a very friendly (and english speaking) Dominican dude sitting at the counter, we ended up ordering (or having him order for us) 10 freshly fried plantains w/garlic sauce. Sweet Jesus it was good but sat like a brick in my stomach for hours after.

Aferwards, we trudged down to MoMa with the intention of viewing the new Dada exhibit but w/only an hour left until the museum closed we decided to tool around with the tourists (and skeevy locals) at Manhattan Mall instead--the only real "mall" on the island and the only place in the city with an ARBYS (according to Joe, who's claimed to have done some research on the matter). I haven't been to Arbys in at least 2 years. I fucking love that place. Thanks to my loverly, I was in a heroin-like haze of roast beef and curly fries within minutes. He's the fucking best.

Sunday I followed Joe to a comic book convention, which proved to be the absolute most dorkish experience of my life. I was hoping for some douchy dudes dressed up as their favorite character, but no such luck. Even the roster of D-list actors signing autographs was disappointing. I didn't spot a porn star in sight. However, watching Robert Vaughn entertain himself with the New York Times at an empty table full of unautographed headshots of himself was almost so pathetic it was worth the trip. Plus we scored a copy of "Garbage Pail Kids--The Movie". So terrible but so good.

Unrelated side note: I'm exhausted this eve and opted to stay home get high, eat ice cream and watch My Fair Brady and Hogan Knows Best on VH1 than go to the park for the usual weekly bout of Kickball and big buds at the Turkey's Nest. I think i've truly reached an alltime low in reality tv addiction.

Sick.

This is how I feel after reading this broad's blog. http://belleinthebigapple.blogspot.com/

She's 25, has a book deal (based on her blog), she's hot, and she just interviewed for the Page Six staff writer position. In fact, I think she's only been in NYC for about a year or so--the same time as myself. We'll skip the fact that she probably went to fucking Vassar and her Southern daddy is also probably a kabillionaire.

Still, the bitch certainly knows how to make another aspiring young journalist feel like a worthless piece of dried poo.

Sexy Amateur Video!

Erm...sort of. So back in January or whenever the fuck there was still snow on the ground, my friend Tim shot this pilot comedy for some contest. It's basically me and a bunch of journalism dorks attempting to act. I volunteered to play his slutty wife. He didn't win the contest, but here's the video.

Warning! An I Hate Children Post!

Okay, I don't "hate" them (that's such a harsh word), but I do "dislike and loathe" them strongly. Particularly any that I am not related to or know personally. All children, babies, infants, toddlers, dirty Williamsburg hipster offspring (or "dirtbags-in-training" as I like to call them), and all the fucking other names they give kiddos these days, are not my thing. They skeeve me out. I much prefer old people. So, what I absolutely DO HATE is when people assume that other people like kids just because they are, well, kids. For example, my boss's 4-year-old niece visited the office last week. Cute kid, but do I give a shit? No. I've got work to do and my boss seemed completely oblivious to the fact that a 4-year-old would NOT remain fully attentive/occupied for an entire morning in an office w/nothing but a few apple slices and a coloring book (I've served my time babysitting!I know!). Anyway, not only did my boss ask if I'd read it a storybook, but she just ASSUMED I would. She was terribly mistaken. Babysitting is not in my job description. I get paid shit wage as it is, so the last thing I want to do is hang around a kid (and likely catch a nasty cold from its inevitably grimy mitts!)So, she was taken aback when I responded, "I don't get along so well with the kids, sorry." Ha! Take that! Score one for the childless!

Horses are smelly...but fast.

Joe and I spent the afternoon with some rich, Ivy league assholes on Saturday at the Belmont Stakes, but despite overhearing some seersucker-clad dude from Connecticut (who was probably only 21) say that he'd lost $2,000 and was continuing to bet--UGH-- it was a great time. Walking into the track area was kind of like walking into the tailgating area of a football game (sort of). Dozens of people had set up their lawn chairs, blankets, and coolers on the grass in front of the Jumbotron away from the chaos of the grandstands to enjoy the race. I later found out that race fans are allowed to bring grills onto the grounds! we spent the bulk of the afternoon chilling in the grandstands (closer to the betting windows) and watching the horses up close. I didn't win any money and Joe was one horse away from winning $250 on the Stakes race. :( Still, we didn't lose much either, opting to spend our dough on booze...delicious booze. Needless to say, I learned a lot about betting on horses and I'd LOVE to go back on some random weekend to hang out with the old pathetic gamblers. Here are some pics. I'm too lazy to create a hot link for it, so suck it up and paste into your browser. I think i even have some half-assed captions....

http://s9.photobucket.com/albums/a77/daniellemcclure80/Belmont%20Stakes/

To The Races, Y'all! (Again)

Joe and I are considering a day trip to the Belmont Stakes racetrack on Saturday to bet on some ponies. I'm kind of excited, mostly because I never 1)bet on anything and i've never been to an animal race and 2)it's such a skeevy little culture at the track that i'm certain i'll be amused.

MAKE IT STOP, ALREADY!

This whole rain shit has got to stop. I swear it's been raining for 2 weeks straight here and to top it all off, this morning my very adorable coffee dude (his street cart is 3 blocks from my office, but a large cup of java is only a buck (as opposed to the usual $1.25 or even $1.50 and he's cute, so..)gave me my morning coffee for free cause i was struggling w/an umbrella and trying to fish my four quarters out of my bag for him in the rain. Nice. So i'm walking along w/my coffee safely secured in a bag (which i requested due to the rain) and I get all the way to the front door of my office when the bottom of the bag gives away (how it got THAT wet i will never know) and my complimentary coffee spills all over the sidewalk. Fuck. :(

It's true, I am never satisfied. In 2 weeks it's likely i'll be bitching about how much i'm sweating....

Rollerderby No Go :(

So, Joe and I totally fucked up and didn't get a chance to see tough broads beat the hell out of eachother on the rollerderby rink on Friday. We never suspected the fucking bout would sell out EVERYWHERE, thus we must wait until next month and be sure to procure some tickets in advance.

Deep Thoughts with Red....

Not really, that's just the first thing I thought of whilst writing the title to this entry, which has no real purpose other than to say that 1)I better be getting a fucking raise..and soon or my summer is going to blow (I actually made more temping than I am now) AND 2)Said raise will allow me to make a trip out to Vegas or somewhere in Mexico for my birthday--at least this is what i'm hoping and/or save enough to head back down south in October for my dearest Terri's WEDDING. Although I am somewhat disappointed that she is popping my wedding cherry (so to speak). I was kind of grateful for the fact that I am 25 years old and have yet to be invited to, participate in , or even attend a wedding of a close friend. Way to go, T-bone....you're the first and you've likely opened the flood gates to wedding insanity for the next few years. However, I must say that I am partially responsible for T's wedding, by having been the one (er, half of the ill-fated duo of me and a former crazyass Bama bf) who formally introduced her to her soon-to-be-hubby Alex. Jesus, that is weird. Hopefully, however, I won't have to go through with the bridesmaid brouhaha any time soon, like my dearest Clare who has recently discovered the headache of finding a dress that fits appropriately. I was unaware of such an issue. This is how truly unaccustomed I am to the whole wedding thing, and which in my opinion, are entirely overrated. Just get people together, do the goddamn thing, and have a big drunken party, already!!

Wow.... that sort of, unexpectedly, turned into a rant.