The Trouble With Online Dating Parts III, IV, and V

1) dudes lie about their age, which doesn't neccessarily bother me, except for all those wrinkles.
2) you get random text messages from previous dates who ask you if you have a decent pot connection.
3) you watch yourself become totally (and unexpectedly) smitten with a boy who effortlessly quotes The Office, digs Charlie Parker AND Deep Purple, can drive a backhoe, is equally obsessed with reality television as you are, goes garage-saling with his momma, and has the One-Eyed Willie skull and crossbones from The Goonies tattooed on his arm.